[It's late one night, a night where Gojo has been gone for most of the entire day. after his talk with Gideon he needed time to form his thoughts into coherent words, a seemingly impossible task for him. But he has to. He knows he has to. Maybe this will all be over, maybe it won't; but if he doesn't talk, he knows it definitely will be.
One moment Geto was asleep, the next Gojo is slipping into bed with him quietly, something Gojo knows will wake him. Just lying on top of the covers, arm wrapping over Geto's waist as he lays on his side, to Geto's back. Hoping he stays still, since Gojo wasn't sure he could take Geto's eyes on him right now, and definitely couldn't in the light of day. His voice is quiet. He wants to talk, but maybe Geto will tell him to be quiet and go to sleep. He wouldn't blame him.]
He's been quiet, hasn't sought company outside of the bedroom, hasn't touched Gojo since the movie because it hadn't felt right. Nothing really had aside from when he'd talked to Nanami and he'd been working on ideas of how to fill his time.
Had even taken a few days to visit Tides and everything had felt different there. But he'd left word for Satoru. When Gojo slides into bed, he opens his eyes, not that he'd been sleeping, not really.
"Satoru." It's acknowledgment, but he's still, waiting for whatever Satoru decides he needs to hear.
He's relieved to even hear his name, and he's quiet, before letting out a deep breath, gathering himself together. Gojo has been reciting these many words in his head over and over, but finds it difficult to voice when the time finally comes.
"Suguru, I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I thought my own path was more important than yours, I'm sorry that I convinced myself into thinking you'd make your way through and be okay on your own--"
Deluding himself further, catering to his own ego by finding a way to keep doing everything by himself. It doesn't matter that all that hasn't happened to this Geto yet; he owes these words to him all the same.
"Because I'm seeing the same thing happening here all over again, this drifting apart, and-- and me being the reason you're miserable."
He presses his forehead to the back of his neck, the hand on Geto's side tightening slightly, shaking.
"And I keep wondering if maybe the best thing for me to do is to let you go. Before you sink all over again because of me. Because being without you is painful, but that you're hurting more because of me is so much worse."
With how he's lying here now, clutching on to Geto, shows how he really feels about actually letting go. When he speaks again, his voice is strained.
"We see what happens, and I-- can't bare the idea of you wasting your time in this place being unhappy. Whatever that means for me in that, just don't-- please don't waste your chance to be happy here."
"It means you're an idiot, Satoru." He does turn over, gaze focusing on Gojo's face, his expression serious before he sighs and shakes his head.
"That doesn't mean I didn't mean the things I said and you needed to hear them. But I needed to realize things for myself as well. I haven't fallen that far, and I'm not going to, but it's not all on your shoulders either. We're not at home, I'm not going on missions and I've been trying to work through all the shit surrounding what happened with Amanai.
When I need to talk, I go to Nanami. I have other options here that weren't available at home for a lot of reasons." He pauses, rubs a hand over his face.
He doesn't move, Gojo's expression sad, almost hopeless. He can't get the end of that movie out of his head and how Inumaki confirmed it for him. It gets worse after that, he said.
He doesn't want it to get worse here.
"I want you to be able to talk to me."
There will always be things Geto needs to go to others for, but he wants to be there as much as he can.
"Because it feels like you're holding out on me and--"
It goes back to everything he just said. The fear that Geto will keep drifting away from him.
"Then talk to me. I wasn't the only one who wasn't talking, Satoru. You knew all of that and you didn't even tell me aside from not wanting to talk about it." And maybe he should have opened up more, but talking to Satoru had seemed like it wouldn't go anywhere. He'd had time to deal with all of it after all.
"Tomorrow, we're going out. We'll go to Tides and you're not going to use limitless. We'll start there and see where things go and if we can talk to each other again. I want you to be the Satoru I fell in love with, not...the person you've been since I arrived here.
Although maybe just starting off and getting to know each other again might be easier, I don't know."
His eyes dart away, internally demanding himself to talk.
"I didn't want to throw all that on top of you considering what had just happened to you, Suguru. I didn't know how to. How could I pile that on you like that?"
He barely had a chance to process what happened to them before getting pulled to Folkmore. But those are his feelings on this, not Geto's.
"I thought it would hurt you more to know. Guess it was the opposite."
His eyes do drift back to him once Geto starts describing the plan. Gojo does look a little concerned when he mentions turning off Limitless, but he's in no position to argue it. After a moment he nods, almost imperceptible but a nod nonetheless.
"Then we'll start tomorrow. See if Tides makes you feel different." Because he'd noticed a difference there as well, but that didn't mean it would work on Satoru.
Not that Gojo is against any excuse to do some travelling, and in the morning he'll be more excited about going.
For now, he's got even just the slightest bit of relief. It's a start. It's something.
He draws himself against Geto, head to his chest, and sighs a relaxed breath now. He's so tired. Maybe now he can sleep a little, his eyes fluttering closed already.
He's asleep almost instantly, getting what is probably the most sleep at once that he's had in a few weeks. The next morning, Geto will find him awake and up, packing a bag to take to Tides. And, as requested, Limitless is off. Which means all of his techniques are as well.
Because of that, though, with his back to Geto, he hasn't noticed he's awake yet.
He enters the room, clears his throat deliberately before coming up to wrap arms around Satoru, pressing a kiss just under his jaw. "I'll pack in a minute, but how do you feel?"
He's looking a little more lively this morning. The wonders of a solid night sleep, even if it wasn't particularly long. His arms similarly slide around Geto.
No secrets anymore, huh. He thinks for a moment. His techniques haven't been off for more than minutes at a time here and there since arriving in Folkmore. Well, after he left Euphoria, anyway.
"I think I could sleep for another week. But things are, um, quiet."
He's not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing yet.
Gojo is definitely a little more livelier on the trip to Tides, even if it is taking some effort for him at this stage. The effort is worth it.
It's probably his favorite place to spend time in Folkmore, with lots of places to waste time, plenty of beautiful water, snacks and souvenirs he can waste his Lore on. What's not to love?
"So what's the plan? Or is the plan not to have a plan."
"I didn't really plan anything concrete except spending some time here. What do you want to do?" Geto hadn't spent much time here since arrival so it seemed like a good idea.
"Well, there's the water, of course, and are a ton of great places to eat, there are tunnels you can wander that are under the water, there's an art academy..."
He threads an arm around one of Geto's, grinning, looking more lively than he has in a bit.
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timeasmymeasure
sometime after the movie but before Thoth event!
Date: 2024-03-13 08:18 pm (UTC)One moment Geto was asleep, the next Gojo is slipping into bed with him quietly, something Gojo knows will wake him. Just lying on top of the covers, arm wrapping over Geto's waist as he lays on his side, to Geto's back. Hoping he stays still, since Gojo wasn't sure he could take Geto's eyes on him right now, and definitely couldn't in the light of day. His voice is quiet. He wants to talk, but maybe Geto will tell him to be quiet and go to sleep. He wouldn't blame him.]
... Hey.
Re: sometime after the movie but before Thoth event!
Date: 2024-03-13 09:03 pm (UTC)Had even taken a few days to visit Tides and everything had felt different there. But he'd left word for Satoru. When Gojo slides into bed, he opens his eyes, not that he'd been sleeping, not really.
"Satoru." It's acknowledgment, but he's still, waiting for whatever Satoru decides he needs to hear.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-13 10:22 pm (UTC)"Suguru, I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I thought my own path was more important than yours, I'm sorry that I convinced myself into thinking you'd make your way through and be okay on your own--"
Deluding himself further, catering to his own ego by finding a way to keep doing everything by himself. It doesn't matter that all that hasn't happened to this Geto yet; he owes these words to him all the same.
"Because I'm seeing the same thing happening here all over again, this drifting apart, and-- and me being the reason you're miserable."
He presses his forehead to the back of his neck, the hand on Geto's side tightening slightly, shaking.
"And I keep wondering if maybe the best thing for me to do is to let you go. Before you sink all over again because of me. Because being without you is painful, but that you're hurting more because of me is so much worse."
With how he's lying here now, clutching on to Geto, shows how he really feels about actually letting go. When he speaks again, his voice is strained.
"We see what happens, and I-- can't bare the idea of you wasting your time in this place being unhappy. Whatever that means for me in that, just don't-- please don't waste your chance to be happy here."
no subject
Date: 2024-03-13 10:34 pm (UTC)"That doesn't mean I didn't mean the things I said and you needed to hear them. But I needed to realize things for myself as well. I haven't fallen that far, and I'm not going to, but it's not all on your shoulders either. We're not at home, I'm not going on missions and I've been trying to work through all the shit surrounding what happened with Amanai.
When I need to talk, I go to Nanami. I have other options here that weren't available at home for a lot of reasons." He pauses, rubs a hand over his face.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-13 10:42 pm (UTC)He doesn't want it to get worse here.
"I want you to be able to talk to me."
There will always be things Geto needs to go to others for, but he wants to be there as much as he can.
"Because it feels like you're holding out on me and--"
It goes back to everything he just said. The fear that Geto will keep drifting away from him.
"I want to be the one here for you."
no subject
Date: 2024-03-13 10:48 pm (UTC)"Tomorrow, we're going out. We'll go to Tides and you're not going to use limitless. We'll start there and see where things go and if we can talk to each other again. I want you to be the Satoru I fell in love with, not...the person you've been since I arrived here.
Although maybe just starting off and getting to know each other again might be easier, I don't know."
no subject
Date: 2024-03-14 02:36 am (UTC)"I didn't want to throw all that on top of you considering what had just happened to you, Suguru. I didn't know how to. How could I pile that on you like that?"
He barely had a chance to process what happened to them before getting pulled to Folkmore. But those are his feelings on this, not Geto's.
"I thought it would hurt you more to know. Guess it was the opposite."
His eyes do drift back to him once Geto starts describing the plan. Gojo does look a little concerned when he mentions turning off Limitless, but he's in no position to argue it. After a moment he nods, almost imperceptible but a nod nonetheless.
"Yeah. Okay. Let's do that."
no subject
Date: 2024-03-14 02:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-14 02:47 am (UTC)"There's nowhere else I'd rather be."
no subject
Date: 2024-03-14 02:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-14 03:03 am (UTC)Not that Gojo is against any excuse to do some travelling, and in the morning he'll be more excited about going.
For now, he's got even just the slightest bit of relief. It's a start. It's something.
He draws himself against Geto, head to his chest, and sighs a relaxed breath now. He's so tired. Maybe now he can sleep a little, his eyes fluttering closed already.
"I hope it does."
no subject
Date: 2024-03-14 03:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-14 03:33 pm (UTC)Because of that, though, with his back to Geto, he hasn't noticed he's awake yet.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-14 04:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-14 07:21 pm (UTC)No secrets anymore, huh. He thinks for a moment. His techniques haven't been off for more than minutes at a time here and there since arriving in Folkmore. Well, after he left Euphoria, anyway.
"I think I could sleep for another week. But things are, um, quiet."
He's not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing yet.
"How're you, though."
no subject
Date: 2024-03-15 06:28 pm (UTC)"I think this is going to be good for us. I'm fine, Satoru." As well as he can be, at least.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-15 07:29 pm (UTC)Gojo nods at that, hoping that it will be good for them. That anything will be.
"Good. Get packing. The water is already calling to me."
For awhile now, this is all he wanted. Getting to see this amazing world, just the two of them, getting to do whatever they wanted to do.
Though, he says to get packing and has yet to move an inch himself.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-15 07:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-19 12:03 am (UTC)It's probably his favorite place to spend time in Folkmore, with lots of places to waste time, plenty of beautiful water, snacks and souvenirs he can waste his Lore on. What's not to love?
"So what's the plan? Or is the plan not to have a plan."
no subject
Date: 2024-03-19 12:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-19 11:17 pm (UTC)He threads an arm around one of Geto's, grinning, looking more lively than he has in a bit.
"I wanna do whatever you wanna do."